Bible Study

Title: Is it Wrong to Not Have Kids?
Date: Sep 30, 2005
Topic(s): Christian Living/Situational
Scripture: Romans 8:14, Isaiah 48:17, Ephesians 5:17, James 1:5, Malachi 2:15, Matthew 19:4-6

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To have or not to have children is a question that Christians must answer in a larger context. When we come to faith in Christ, ask Him to forgive our sins and make us a new person in Him, we also commit our lives to follow Him, be His disciple and please Him in every situation and relationship as best we can. God is our Heavenly Father, Jesus is our Savior and the Holy Spirit is our Guide. Our lives no longer belong to us but to God. So the real question to ask about having children is this: what is God's will for my life, my marriage, my home?

What Does God Say?

When we face these questions, we always need the same thing: discernment and direction from God.

What do the following Scriptures tell us about what God wants us to do?

• "The true children of God are those who let God's Spirit lead them" (Romans 8:14, NCV).
• "This is what the LORD says--
  your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
  'I am the LORD your God,
  who teaches you what is best for you,
  who directs you in the way you should go'" (Isaiah 48:17, NIV).

• "Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is" (Ephesians 5:17, NKJV).
• "If you need wisdom--if you want to know what God wants you to do--ask Him, and He will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking" (James 1:5, NLT).

My Thoughts

The first step is to ask for God's guidance through His Word and His Spirit. That means individually and as a couple, you are to spend time in the Bible and praying for God's will to be known about whether or not to have children.

The second step is to pray that your hearts would be open to God's direction, so that both of you come to the place where you believe that God's will is absolutely the best for you and your marriage and your family.

The third step is to discover what the Bible says about marriage and children and to discuss with each other those Scriptures. You might want to use a topical Bible.

Look up Malachi 2:15. What does it say about the purpose of children?

Look up Matthew 19:4-6. What does it say about the purpose of marriage?

As you read these passages, you'll see that all procreation (having children) is to be within marriage; but not all marriages are for procreation. The purpose of marriage is a unique, earthly, divine oneness of husband and wife. God's purpose for your life and marriage can be fulfilled whether or not there are children as part of your family. If not having children when married was a sin, then Adam and Eve (while still in the Garden), Abraham and Sarah (the friend of God) and Zechariah and Elizabeth (righteous, honorable and blameless before the Lord) would have been living in sin.

Ephesians 5:31-32 says, "As the Scriptures say, 'A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one" (NLT).

My Part

After you finish your study, find a quiet time and quiet place in your home to commit yourselves anew to the Lord and His will for your family and your future. Then have a time of dedication of your home and a time of celebration that the Lord is loved and honored there.

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